Large Fella on a Bike

Xtracycle Goodness...

Well today's the BIG day... heading over to BBBB's shop/crib to begin the El Dumbino build up.  And then, once back home it's time to adorn that beauty with the goodness that makes it all come together:

a bountiful bevy of Xtracycle Goodness!!

Couple days back, the doorbell rings, Chloe answers it and WHAM:
[click for Xtra-Ness]

 

 

 

 

 

After unwrapping all the Xtracycle Abundance, I roasted off some veggies for Chloe's dinner...

[her favorites: asparagus, red & yellow peppers and Goat Brain w/some fresh cracked pepper, kosher salt and xtra-virgin olive oil] ...she went to bed happy on roasted vegetables and dreaming of riding her very own SnapDeck.  Tomorrow, that dream turns to reality.  Let the Journey begin!

Keep Ridin'... Always

Holy McIntosh Apples!

The girls, that would be Amy & Chloe, gifted me with some Gifting Goodness... something about, "You Rock", "We are proud of you!", "You ride more than LA, LeMond and Bush Lite combined", "Plus, you let us experiment on your hair with various colors"... and then they started having me open things, boxes, items, treasures [click any for Biggeryness]:

And last... me kissing Chloe and whispering into her ear that if she doesn't start learning to ride her own 2-wheeler soon I'm going to floss her teeth with those new TA Specialties chainrings [particularly the 50T ring]:

Happy 4th [now go stick a firecracker in a hamburger, and run like hell].

Oh, and:

Keep Ridin'... Always

THIS is our Real Enemy...

... Stupidity, and it causes -in me- the greatest of all Fears. Only THIS comes in 2nd in the Grand Pecking Order of Life's Rather More Sad Moments.

As a Human Person, Dad, Husband and Parent: what puts the fear on me is the inability to speak, enunciate, put forth an idea/any idea/your idea... and then, worse, is to find yourself in a group situation where you purposely drop yourself d o w n to the LCD [Lowest Common Denominator] of that group.  We talk to Chloe about this a lot.  And it's a tough one too... because as a kid, we want her to be just that, a kid.  And a kid she is.  But at the same time she's heading to -as we all do- a place called 'Adulthood' and that is where she will remain for a much longer majority of her life than Kidhood lasts.  That said, we also want her, insist to her really, that she isn't allowed to become an adult until she's good & ready... and once there, absolutely must retain a large dose of child-like/kiddom in her adultness, otherwise we have failed her and being a grownup will be utterly boring for her.  She agrees, we agree.

We -as a family- also agree that Evil, Dumb, Clueless, Dolt-like, Bot-Humans aren't made... they are raised.  Raised that there aren't answers to questions posed, enough time for attention, exploration of thought/life/areas of the mind & physical world... isn't a life beyond their yard/alley/house/apt: and that's a real heart breaker.

So, all that said... my new thing is this thing:

There are no more Enemies for me.  No Bush, Cheney, Al-Qaeda, Taco Bell, Monsanto, Organized Religion Zealots packing dual barrels of Faith Heat, Dr.'s and their Pharmaceutical Co.'s [or is it the other way 'round?], Big Honkin' Morons in SUV's & Pickup drivers on cell phones, pot-bellied bikers in leather sitting on their Harley's calling me a "Fag" as I ride past on my bike, Mini-Van drivers screaming at me that I didn't come to a complete stop at that last intersection on my bike [even though they were aiming to drift thru it in their 1.5 ton metal & plastic box of sadness-n-despair, and then did drift thru it while they were screaming at me]... none of them [and many, many, many more], anymore, for me.

Nope, there's just The Non-Stupid and The Stupid.

Okay, maybe The Super, Amazing, Uber-Stupid too.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Avoiding The Bummer Life...

Chloe knows how to:

 

[click for bummerlessness]

We just got some deliciousity from the fine folks at The Swobo and Chloe was ready to Style-n-Rawk it.  So we/she did.

Best?  Family is in town from Michigan and after hearing a fair amount of smack-talk from two males, 14 & 16 years old respectively, Chloe said to me, "Daddy lets serve them... ".  So we did.  5 miles worth.  Chloe's grandma & grandpa clocked us at 24mph [from their auto] up grades along the West River Pkwy: arriving at the finish line 8 minutes and 32 seconds before the 16 year old, and 12 minutes and 28 seconds before the 14 year old youth males in question [and the 14 year old was the one doing the significant smack-talking before we hammered].

Both male youth, red-faced, panting heavily were greeted by Chloe with, "You've been served and guess what?  You have absolutely no game".

Smack.

Keep Ridin'... Always

New Shoes, Super Heros and a Dragonfly->

In our average, normal day out and about riding, many amazing things happen.  For instance...

new 'Old School' shoes show up in the mail for Chloe,

[click any of 'em for Largeness]

...and along with them, a story of how they were her Dad's first pair of 'High-End' tennis shoes as a kid too ['cept, mine were white & black].   And by the time you're done telling that story, the little girl in front of you is so thrilled to wear them, pedal in them, and be just like her daddy, she is telling anyone and everyone, who'll listen, about her new shoes.

You decide to ride for a cookie next, and while doing so, spot a Dragonfly relaxing on a slab of concrete wall:

You ride to the top of a hill so your little girl can roll down the side of that grass hill multiple times, in the 84 degree temperature, so many times she rolls that she needs time to -as she put it- "Stop, and smell the grass"

You then ride to get some caffe, and see a Super Hero arrive just mere feet away...

...to make a life-saving delivery of pizza to someone in extreme hunger:

And then, your daughter decides that Domino's isn't just for pizza-

-and instead, makes for one great MotoX trials course of the mind.

You head to a lake later in the day and snap a Daughter-n-Dad self portrait...

...and sit on a bench together, watching the early summer sun set over a Minnesota lake,

...and life, well life is pretty great.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Conversation with a Smart Car Owner:

Today, at OoO, guy in a brand spankin' new Smart Car pulls in beside Chloe and me and the following ensues:

Chloe:  "Hey dad!!  It's one of those Smart Cars we read about!!"

Me:  "Wow, look at that."

Smart Car Owner [herein referred to as "SCO"]:  "Yeah, been on the waiting list for a year and a half... just picked it up last week"

Chloe:  "Tell us about it?"

SCO:  "Sure.  Engines in the rear, look... [shows us] and has a 3 cylinder engine, kinda like a motorcycle basically.  Tons of headroom."

Chloe & Me:  "Looks cool... they did a nice job on the appointments on the interior."

SCO:  "Yeah, it's not as nice as our two SUV's but I like it."

Chloe:  "This is really neat looking... by the way, why two SUV's?"

SCO:  "Well, you know winter... I'm married and we have two kids: one is eighteen and the other is 16 years old."

Me:  "How's it handle?"

SCO:  "Pretty good... I mean it'll be fine for short errands and such.  Hey, did you know that it exceeds the Tahoe in crash ratings?  They smashed one of these into a brick wall at 70 and everything was fine... with the Tahoe, the engine went into the cockpit.  Woulda killed not only the driver and front passenger, but probably the passengers in the rear too."

Chloe:  "That's horrible, I don't want anyone to die, ever."

SCO:  "Hehe, well... "

Chloe:  "Well?  Death is NO good!"

SCO:  "Well the way I see it, you know I live in the suburbs and it's like 40 year olds hanging out on Sundays... you know, we've arrived more or less, so it's like what's next for us?  Global Warming, Check.  Icebergs melting, Check.  Terrorism, Check.  Fuel and Oil, Check.  War, Check.  Energy in general, Check.  I gotta do my part, you know... I figure I can put 15k on this car per year in short errands and save a lot money along the way.  Stuff like the gym, supermarket, mall, whatever... and that's that.  I'm doing what I can, what I should.  The kids can drive it in the warm months.  I mean, if their taking dates or friends out... they can use the Grand Cherokee, but otherwise... "

Chloe:  "Why not bike?"

SCO:  [laughs]  "Yeah, that's fine when you're younger I suppose but I don't know.  I mean what do you do in the winter or rain... suppose it's a day like today, pretty hot out here, you know?"

Chloe:  "I ride with my daddy in the winter and rain.  We rode here today... "

SCO:  "Good for you.  But I live in the suburbs."

Chloe [to me]:  "What state is that... 'The Suburbs'?  I have never heard of that one, dad."

SCO [laughing]:  "It's not a state, it's outside of the city, an area for living in the country"

Chloe:  "Do you have chickens and cows??  I love cows!!  Are you a farmer?

SCO:  "No, I'm not a farmer."

Me:  "Chloe, you've seen the suburbs honey... it's the places where you said all the houses look the same."

Chloe:  "Ohh!!  You mean what people call 'McMansions'??"

SCO: [chuckling uncomfortably] "Well... not all the same, the colors are different you know.  So anyway, I should be going... so kiddo, you going to own a Smart Car someday, when you grow up, and do your part too?"

Chloe [thinks for a moment]:  "Well, I don't know... I think I'm doing my part right now.  Why would I start later on?"

SCO [uncomfortable]:  "Well, you can only ride so far you know... "

Chloe:  "When gas goes away, will your Smart Car start?  Is it electrical too?"

SCO:  "No, it takes gas.  I gotta go"

Us:  "Thanks for showing us your car, take care, have a great day!"

SCO:  "Yeah, whatever... "

Keep Ridin'... Always

Missing the Big #'s...

...but accepting the smaller ones too.

Going along with the prevailing thinking that I am carrying around 20 to 30 pounds of empty, well, err... hmmm, how to put this and not be too specific: empty, deflated skin, I guess -according to Amy and other medical type people- I now weigh somewhere around 179 to 189 pounds.

But, in fact, these are the hard numbers as of yesterday's weigh-in:

Weight:  209.8 pounds

Weight on Last Weigh-In [May 3rd, 2008]:  214.0 pounds

Loss Of:  4.2 pounds

Total Loss Since November, 2005:  291.2 pounds

It's gotta be a muscle increase thing... because I still feel like I am not ultimately there yet and yet I eat the same but ride more.  I agree with Amy & others about the significant increase in muscle on my body [and certainly that muscle outweighs fat], but damn, I'd love to know my actual -less deflated parts- weight.  The final summit attempt is gonna go in super-baby-steps I suppose, bring it on.

I haven't been in a regular "inch-determined waist sized" pair of pants for years, actually decades, actually since I was 22 years old or so, and since getting smaller I've really taken to pants [like the Rivendell 'MUSA' line] that were sized in the other method of S/M/L/XL/XXL etc.  Last night, after days [weeks, really] of being interested to know my actual waist size and really digging on some Swobo knickers [which are sized in 'waist inches'], Amy measured my waist.  Solid Rock, I can fit into them... the measuring tape has me at size 36 snug, size 38 loose [and the Swobo's go up to 38's].  Looking totally surprised, Amy said "You really don't know how small you are becoming do you?  Why would you be so shocked?".  I didn't [and still don't] have an answer to that one... I guess my brain is still accustomed to the old days.  Probably the same reason I still walk thru most doors sideways or pull chairs way out from tables before sitting down but, always look at the legs on chairs first before sitting on them [and not really certain that will ever change either].

Amy thought I should contact Swobo and tell them my story because I've been using their "Minkman" liners for a while now.  And she thinks I should ask them for some support.  So I did write them, and maybe a shirt or two, a pair of knickers and a couple pairs of socks would be great, but I doubt it will happen... just heard back from them, it's a "Go" [super cool!].

I just wanna know my real weight, less the deflation, and not have to do major [what is deemed, "Major Plastic"] surgery to get those #'s.

Keep Ridin'... Always   

Stolen Bike + Bike Huntin' Party...

If any local folk see this bike...

[click it to see it better]

...please contact me, or The Hurl, or The Mark, or The Gene asap w/details.  Or better: call the police, the militia, or your favorite local headhunter [and no, not the corporate type].

Chris King headset, white saddle and MKS "Grip King" pedals make it really hard to NOT recognize.

Seriously cool and solid local female rider/person: The Girl Carl, [and she also makes me the most solid, bad-ass Americanos at The CRC]... equally, seriously cool bike.  Stuff like this is seriously UNcool. 

Shank the rider, ask questions later.

Bike thieves are 3rd in line, right behind pedophiles and politicians, as the worst kind of offending bacteria in the proverbial toilet bowl of life.

...it's time for some serious plunging to commence.

Told Chloe [and Amy, who works tomorrow], and by the way "Bike Thief Person" Chloe ADORES Girl Carl, so you have crossed many lines into the dark voids of Chloe's 'Poop List', and she insisted that we [me & her... again, mom works tomorrow] go to "The Bad Places, where Bike Thieves Live" and find it.  I agree.  Chloe and me had not much on our agenda tomorrow, so we are going Bike Huntin'.

I seriously pity the person who stole this bike if Chloe gets 5 minutes with you, and if you give Chloe anything less than the utmost respect and sincerety... well, I seriously pity you period [I'll be with her after all].  Sleep well tonight... and enjoy the bike for the next 11 hours [give or take], because it ain't gonna be forever.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Crit & Longtail

Chloe and me went to the Crit last night, saw more Carbone in one place than you could shake a stick at [I would love to see someone race -and win- one of these events on a steel & lugged bike some year... not for any particular reason, just would love to see it: it's not like it can't be done].

Saw BBBB up on the balcony of some pub, slamming Jello-Shots while grab-assin' with Justin Timberlake [I think he's ordering up a new custom SS mixte from the BBC]. 

Eventually he noticed Chloe and me and waved us up, but we had to decline due to Chloe needing to snap some fotos of her favorite team, Team Jelly Belly.


[She's still working on her action photography though... no, Team Jelly Belly wasn't that fast]

She was able to capture some pics of the ever elusive IBIKE&FALLDOWNALLOVERMPLS.COM:

[also seen above: Sara[H?] and me--removing a small piece of Gu Packet that one of the riders threw, & hit me in the eye]

Chloe also got a pic of Mark taking a pic of her [I really like his Kodak Insta-Matic, nice camera].

While Chloe and Sara[H?] went off for some water fountain frolicking...

...I went and caught, what will probably be the next phase of my professional career:

Chloe had fun:

...and so did I.

When I asked Mark if he hoped to score a much coveted spot on Rock Racing, so he could fly their excellent Black & Lime Green colors, and ride Carbone, and -perchance- befriend their team rider with the full Maori facial tat... he, pretty much, was speechless with child-like enthusiasm:

"Dreams can come true".

In other news:

Unpacked the "El Dumbino" last night, and said 'Hello' to her...

and the lil' fork too:

And the whole 'Baby"...

No wonder they call them "LongTails":

Getting very excited to build this up and go for some ridin'!   

Also, very excited and pleased to announce that Xtracycle has offered us a "Family Sponsorship" of sorts.  The day after I posted that we were hopeful to get a Big Dummy, two folks from Xtracycle sent me an email [Nate & Jeremy] saying that they had been fans of LFoaB for a while now and had been think-tanking a way to get us on an Xtracycle for months.  They saw this as a perfect opportunity... and Amy, Chloe and me are very happy and honored that they thought of us.  Apparently they truly want our feedback [Good & Bad/Pro & Con] about their products, and completely left it up to me to "Out" the sponsorship or not.  I feel it is better to be forthright and Out it.  So, that's that.  Of course, I could end up looking like a jerk in all this for a couple reasons:

1.  Some folks have told me, via email, that they hold me in high regard concerning the honesty & no B.S. that I spew forth [me, I think I'm just me-and don't really think about it much past that], and that if I was associated with any company [and their products], I would lose all credibility.

2.  Past the first couple days of emailing, I haven't heard a stitch back from the two aforementioned fellas [maybe it was the "Your Piehole... " entry?].

So, we'll see how things pan out.

Keep Ridin'... Always

Birth of The El Dumbino:

or, for birth certification purposes, "The El Grande Dumbino".

Up in Bangor, Maine resides a fellow.  And this fellow bought an 18" Surly Big Dummy back when they came out, and he had eyes to build it up and tackle all of his -and his families- errandy needs.  But then the winter had other plans, and it was harsh... very harsh.  Adding to that harshness, he also had eyes to buy and build up a custom touring bike for a big Spring-timey tour of New England.  And so the Big Dummy lay dormant like, well... a dormant Big Dummy.  And then he read about a guy, and that guy's family, getting eyes to procure a Big Dummy as a His/Her do-it-all kinda machine.  So he put cyber-ink to cyber-paper and contacted this guy, and offered him the new-in- [rather big] box Surly Big Dummy for a very nice price because [as he put it], "I haven't done a thing with it yet, I know you will, and you seem like a nice fella on a bike".

Adoption papers were arranged... and if I had Madonna or Brad & Angelina bread, I would have flown to Maine to have a Photo-Op with the guy, his family and the Big Dummy, but I don't.  So, freight was arranged too.  And today we went to Fed-Ex and picked up our new baby... BIG, baby.

On the way back home, with a casket-sized box sticking out the end of our car [some serious irony right there], and worrying about when the box would shoot out and onto the highway---or someone would plow into it at a red light, not stopping soon enough behind us [and making it into a short-tailed Small Dummy]---Amy & Chloe were think-tanking names.  And by the time we pulled into the driveway it was a done deal...

The "El Grande Dumbino" [or for the sake of time & ease: "El Dumbino"] was born.

 

 

[click 'em for biggery-ness]

Now, some parts + a build: and we'll be off and running.

Keep Ridin'... Always